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Shauk · 07-14-2007, 12:48 AM

so i've been sitting on this for a week now.

the hows and whys of this are kinda bugging me, my wants may be trying to override my instinct.

Basically, she broke up with the guy, he's been a dickhole beyond all reconcilliation and now she's suspecting that he's been cheating on her since she found out that he has cheated on 2 exes already (the guy is 20, talk about a short attention span)

so she got THAT through her head that yeah, he was all lies and blah blah blah everything I said about him came true and smacked her in the face like a brick.

this all happened shortly after our talk so now she's "hinting" again.

although, this is the "hint" if you can call it that.....

she wants me to move in with her.

yeah.....

my reaction was a bit "whoooooaaaa what?"

I told her to sit on that thought and we'd talk it out later. she later says she didn't really think it through, theres not really room for my stuff in the house, theres no extra rooms, (but she did say I could stay in her room on the 1st night of this offer which sent me reeling)

So yeah here are my "wants"

I "want" to believe that she is the kind of person to realize that she made a huge error in her judgement.
I "want" to relocate to seattle
I "want" her to actually feel the same about things between us if they do start up again.

I don't trust any of the above is actually true or sincere is my 1st reaction. I'm making a trip next week to visit and have a little face to face sit-down and see just what the hell is going on in her head. I'm definately going to hold off for a few months and see if she's not just trying to rebound. I'm not gonna set myself up to get hurt again if I don't trust her intentions are sincere.

it's so confusing. I mean we talked it out later and she completely withdrew from the "gungho" attitude she had a few days prior (going from offering me her room, to offering her couch, from offering me room-mate status, to offering me a "staging ground" to get my own place)

she admitted she was being selfish and just wanted a good friend to be close by, and I admit that would be a mutual benefit.

I dunno, its kind of a fucked up tug of war now. when she wants me back, I push her away because I remember the pain, maybe vice versa, who knows.

I feel ultimately ashamed that I still feel the way about her as I do. After someone just turns thier back on a 5 year relationship, I don't understand how I could just consider even going to talk things out with her, but I am.

christ, what a ballbuster.

07-14-2007, 12:48 AM	#35 (permalink)
Shauk Confused Adult Location: Spokane, WA	so i've been sitting on this for a week now. the hows and whys of this are kinda bugging me, my wants may be trying to override my instinct. Basically, she broke up with the guy, he's been a dickhole beyond all reconcilliation and now she's suspecting that he's been cheating on her since she found out that he has cheated on 2 exes already (the guy is 20, talk about a short attention span) so she got THAT through her head that yeah, he was all lies and blah blah blah everything I said about him came true and smacked her in the face like a brick. this all happened shortly after our talk so now she's "hinting" again. although, this is the "hint" if you can call it that..... she wants me to move in with her. yeah..... my reaction was a bit "whoooooaaaa what?" I told her to sit on that thought and we'd talk it out later. she later says she didn't really think it through, theres not really room for my stuff in the house, theres no extra rooms, (but she did say I could stay in her room on the 1st night of this offer which sent me reeling) So yeah here are my "wants" I "want" to believe that she is the kind of person to realize that she made a huge error in her judgement. I "want" to relocate to seattle I "want" her to actually feel the same about things between us if they do start up again. I don't trust any of the above is actually true or sincere is my 1st reaction. I'm making a trip next week to visit and have a little face to face sit-down and see just what the hell is going on in her head. I'm definately going to hold off for a few months and see if she's not just trying to rebound. I'm not gonna set myself up to get hurt again if I don't trust her intentions are sincere. it's so confusing. I mean we talked it out later and she completely withdrew from the "gungho" attitude she had a few days prior (going from offering me her room, to offering her couch, from offering me room-mate status, to offering me a "staging ground" to get my own place) she admitted she was being selfish and just wanted a good friend to be close by, and I admit that would be a mutual benefit. I dunno, its kind of a fucked up tug of war now. when she wants me back, I push her away because I remember the pain, maybe vice versa, who knows. I feel ultimately ashamed that I still feel the way about her as I do. After someone just turns thier back on a 5 year relationship, I don't understand how I could just consider even going to talk things out with her, but I am. christ, what a ballbuster.