Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - How strange is a 25 year old male virgin?

match000 · 07-01-2007, 02:05 AM

I think Martian and a few others pretty much summed up all I wanted to say..

but i'll say it anyways.

I didn't lose it until this year and I am 23.

The road to 'losing it' didn't begin until I was mid 21, when I was a senior in university and I got fed up with doing nothing about it and just taking the 'sit back and do well in school/life and let it happen approach'.

The problem with that approach, for me, was that it didn't work as long as I stayed the same nerd that I was. As soon as I slightly un-nerded myself (dress better, do my hair, etc) was that the girls who *came* to *me* and expressed interest (a few) weren't up to my expectations.

The one that did, well, I messed it up with her and I had a big thread on here about it lol. Actually, Martian helped me alot on that one (big thanx man!).

Anyways, after that I basically decided to *do something* about it instead of the "sit back and wait for it to happen approach". So what did I do?

I went out and talked to girls as much as I could. It didn't mean I was a crazy neurotic on the street who approached strangers all the time. It just meant that whenever I had a natural chance, I'd talk to them (sitting across a stranger in a school cafetaria, waiting in line at the bus stop, waiting in line at school for a sandwich, in class to the girl next to me, etc).

And when I talked to them, I wasn't just talking. I was practicing being flirtatious (without using canned pick-up lines, but if you need a start, try it with some canned ones). What you need to develop is the ability to remark on the natural context: the situational pick-up line. This is not really a pick-up line.. it just allows you to chat with most people naturally without putting them on guard.

So after I did this for a semester I got quite good at it. Simultaneously I did a warddrobe change, read up on fashion, and eventually settled into my own niche. I also developed / improved on interests that helped in socializing: singing, dancing, etc.

Anyways, the biggest advice I think is to just keep hanging out with anyone and everyone. It doesn't matter if its guys or girls. If you just keep hanging out (just to be social), the one who you like and who likes you will come along. And at that point, you will have the social skills to do something about it (cuz you have been developing them).

Hope that helps..

07-01-2007, 02:05 AM	#19 (permalink)
match000 Psycho	I think Martian and a few others pretty much summed up all I wanted to say.. but i'll say it anyways. I didn't lose it until this year and I am 23. The road to 'losing it' didn't begin until I was mid 21, when I was a senior in university and I got fed up with doing nothing about it and just taking the 'sit back and do well in school/life and let it happen approach'. The problem with that approach, for me, was that it didn't work as long as I stayed the same nerd that I was. As soon as I slightly un-nerded myself (dress better, do my hair, etc) was that the girls who came to me and expressed interest (a few) weren't up to my expectations. The one that did, well, I messed it up with her and I had a big thread on here about it lol. Actually, Martian helped me alot on that one (big thanx man!). Anyways, after that I basically decided to do something about it instead of the "sit back and wait for it to happen approach". So what did I do? I went out and talked to girls as much as I could. It didn't mean I was a crazy neurotic on the street who approached strangers all the time. It just meant that whenever I had a natural chance, I'd talk to them (sitting across a stranger in a school cafetaria, waiting in line at the bus stop, waiting in line at school for a sandwich, in class to the girl next to me, etc). And when I talked to them, I wasn't just talking. I was practicing being flirtatious (without using canned pick-up lines, but if you need a start, try it with some canned ones). What you need to develop is the ability to remark on the natural context: the situational pick-up line. This is not really a pick-up line.. it just allows you to chat with most people naturally without putting them on guard. So after I did this for a semester I got quite good at it. Simultaneously I did a warddrobe change, read up on fashion, and eventually settled into my own niche. I also developed / improved on interests that helped in socializing: singing, dancing, etc. Anyways, the biggest advice I think is to just keep hanging out with anyone and everyone. It doesn't matter if its guys or girls. If you just keep hanging out (just to be social), the one who you like and who likes you will come along. And at that point, you will have the social skills to do something about it (cuz you have been developing them). Hope that helps..