I have friends at work and the rest are old college friends that I really just email or IM with. None live near me anymore. Once people move away and get involved in their own lives, it's just really easy to lose touch. And my personality has always been to leave people alone if I sense I am annoying them or bothering them. I tend to withdraw if I don't get a lot of attention from people.
I also have lots of internet friends I've chatted with on various forums I participate in and we chat and email but they live too far away to do anything in real life with.
But I definitely agree that it is much easier to meet women when you have a good group of friends to introduce you to people. And I could certainly use a nudge from more extroverted people to go out and do stuff. It's just way too easy for me to stay at home and read or watch tv or play video games or play on the internet or with myself. LOL
I'm not really concerned about people picking on me as much now as generally being embarassed about my situation. It's like the big missing piece to the puzzle. I know I'm so much better than most people my age, education, career, and financially. But this area I feel so far behind. I'm almost positive most people would be shocked if they knew I was a virgin cause I come across as very confident and put together at work in my area of expertise and am the go-to guy for lots of stuff. A lot of this is an act as I was raised never to show weakness or complain or whine about personal problems. In truth, it's been really hard to enjoy any of my professional success when I feel that I'm damaged or broken goods in some way since I've never gotten laid.
The problem is where I work most of the people are older than me, or married, or in relationships or otherwise unavailable or unappealing to me. It's just not a place to meet women and after spending 10-12 hours a day there, it's very easy to come up with excuses like I'm too tired or whatever to go out.
And the advice about joining clubs and getting out and meeting people is what I've been thinking about for a long time. I know it's right. I know it's what I have to do. But I guess I've been in the same situation for so long, changing my ways is scary so I procrastinate about it. I always say maybe tomorrow or next week or next month. I have all these ideas like travelling, joining a gym, learning to scuba dive, political groups, etc. It's getting out of a completely predictable environment to something not so predictable. I know I have to do it but the change is scary for me. But I know if I don't do it I'll never change my situation.
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Something like Sex I don't think should define anyone, either an abundance or lack of it doesn't seem to effect me or my relationships with other sexually active people. I have friends who seldom get laid to friends who fornicate on a highly regular schedule. There are more important things in life then Sex.
obviously there are the urges and that's the natural way of things, procreation, attraction etc etc. Maybe I'll be a Virgin for my entire life, and to be totally honest, it doesn't bother me one bit.
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That's a great attitude you have if it works for you. But everyone is different. I could never be happy being a virgin for life.
I won't be 30 and a virgin. I'm going to try my hardest to be more outgoing and meet women but if I'm your age at 28/29 and still a virgin, I'll go the nevada/amsterdamn route if nothing else for my self-confidence and mental health. I'll use a condom, hopefully go to a place where the girls are tested regularly for STD's, take every precaution I can and just get it over with. It's probably no less safe doing it this way than going to a random bar and hooking up with any girl. It may be even more safe as the working girls in the professional establishments are usually very health conscious with their bodies and never have unsafe sex. I''m not there yet. But everyone has their limits.
I just want to experience how sex feels. If it's no big deal in the end, fine. But I want to be able to experience it. It has literally been on my mind every day since I was 12 years old and first discovered my penis could do really cool things. Evolution has wired humans to be sexual and to be deprived of this basic human function is unnatural for me. I firmly believe that to be the case in my situation.
Maybe your situation and sex drive or just outlook on life is different. I can't speak for others or criticize their choices. I can only speak for how I feel and I feel like I am being deprived. I feel like one of those poor unneutered miserable dogs that you see that can't find a mate and humps the furniture and everything else for relief.
