lurkette

While you have a right to your opinion, I'll posit that it's based entirely on misconceptions, or a limited concept, of what "open marriage" is. I just really can't even think of where to begin to address your concept that "they" (or "we," thanks very much) "know nothing of dignity, self-control, discipline." You have no clue what it takes to successfully maintain a non-monogamous relationship (or, in our case, a polymonogamous relationship, in which we adhere to the principles of monogamy, but with 3 people instead of 2). I find great dignity in the ability to submit oneself to one's partner's desires for fulfillment, and in rooting out the sources of jealousy and insecurity. I find it takes great self-control to manage one's emotions in the face of a sometimes challenging situation. And it can take great discipline to maintain ANY relationship, regardless of the number of people involved. Granted, our situation is different from an "open" relationship in which people are allowed to maintain secondary relationships that are often purely sexual in nature. But even in that situation, and I know a number of people who practice such relationships successfully (i.e., for a decade or more) and do it with a grace and self-awareness that would put many monogamous relationships to shame.

I also don't think the genetic/evolutionary argument holds water. There are a lot of evolutionary reasons for behavior, but that does not mean that we accept them or that they should be standards for modern behavior. There are countless species who have survived successfully without permanent pair bonding, and until recently (the last 1000 years or so, when a variety of social structures that were best supported by stable pair bonding emerged) humans were one of those species.

__________________
"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France