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yeah thats the thing, I'm pretty much petrified of the thought of re-entering a relationship with her.
As bad as that sounds, I think it's only natural considering how much pain I felt when I had to accept the truth that she was chosing someone over me.
She called me up today for her drive over and we talked about stuff like philosophy and our perception of events. I told her how sad I felt, how much I hated that I live with 3 other people that I have nothing in common with, who are supposed to be my friends but they are people I don't talk to, and how my only good, and best friend in the world is my ex gf (her) and she said "yeah, thats where things stand with me too"
at this point we had been on the phone for like an hour, and she started going off about how her 13 minute phone call to her current BF is mostly silence because he doesn't connect with her like I do, how he makes fun of her for her silliest little sleep deprived mistakes like typing something wrong.
She's admittedly unhappy.
I guess she's going to come over tomorrow before I go to work so we can go for a walk around our old routine route. She's been "homesick" because this is where her family is, her aquantances are, and (she hasn't said this but... if she's going to call me her best friend) where I am.
I dunno, I figure a 4 mile walk around a trail should give us plenty of time to talk as long as I launch right into whats on my mind. *shrug*
She would still have a lot to do to reconnect with me here if anything I say actually reaches her on an emotional level. leaving her job, leaving her boyfriend, and coming back here, she already made that kind of sacrifice for someone she barely knew, I really don't know if she'd face that risk again, and I really can't paint a pretty picture for her because I'm completely honest and couldn't promise a flawless relationship, other than my undying effort to make it work, just because thats who I am.
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