I'm scared of dying only because I don't want to not exist. It just seems so weird. Why am I here in the first place if after there is nothing? And I think there is nothing. It just seems like a waste. Where was I before? I wasn't even an entity, in my view. But I can't remember not existing. It's just scary to not be able to conclude this type of thought about death. And I still feel like I'm never going to die...because nothing makes sense. So why would anything around me even be real? Sometimes life is like being in a dream. Sorry for the rant. 
__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
|