First of all, I now desperately want a steel breastplate. ratbastid... u buy for me?
Pogue, hon, you had to deal with some bullshit. Welcome to the party. But it's not going to stay "bad" because of one girl. We're not all horrible people. She wasn't the right one for you, and that's alright. If we all broke down completely every time something went wrong, we'd be pretty much fucked as a society. I can't say I've been in your shoes, but I've had to deal with my marriage dissolving around me. I could have said, "Well, that's it, I hate relationships and am never doing that again." Instead, my life has become a wonderful learning experience into just how supportive and loving a good relationship can be. It
will get better. You need to find those people that you can trust, and let yourself trust them. Acetylene has such a good idea... live like a puppy. Enjoy right
now. Fear of the future is putting the horse all the way down the street from the damn cart (I do this myself, it sucks). Let yourself be happy with someone you've got and see if you can't break out of this nasty cycle.