1: Why is it that women insist on fully covering themselves up with bath towels (you know, the towel tucked together above their rack) after taking a shower despite the fact that you, the familiar partner, are the only other person in the domicile? I mean... I like hanging a towel around my waist / junk after I get out of the shower to prevent the hot-droplets-cold-air shrinkage thing, but I don't have boobs. Plus it looks like a kilt and all men would secretly love to wear kilts all the time. What could possess them to cover up and act all timid? Is it modesty? Hrrm, that doesn't make sense... since after dating for a year or so, said boobs have spent more time in my mouth than inside a towel. This idea makes even less sense if you just had sex and the shower was a sea monkey spill cleanup venture. I guess the only other excuse furnished was that they don't want us to get tired of their naked figure, they want to keep a little bit of mystery to it. This is also a pointless female tactic. Men don't care. We were screwing the female species before the discovery of soap, razors, and definitely before they stopped growing thick mustaches. (light bulb) Maybe it's the primitive vulnerable lingerie appeal? I did a Google search for a picture and found this. Who knows what it means?
2: Bananas. Yes, 'nanners. Why are they hell are they suddenly so huge? They've gotten bigger in the last few years. I mean, when I was a kid... bananas were of normal the-perfect-fruit length and girth, with a darker yellow color. They actually went bad after a while, non-nuke'd. Today's bananas are quite monstrous in volume and a brighter, unnatural yellow. Eating one of these things is harder than trying to write a Middle East peace proposal on a diner napkin with a crayon! Heh, I'm starting to feel inadequate here. They used to be a measuring instrument of manliness... at least in my little world. It used to be an even comparison, always something to be sure of... but now? I really can't compete with these Nann-Zillas anymore. If women have the similar weird connotations with bananas and potassium-infused satisfaction... god, I'll just never be the same. I suppose between giant bananas and my ever-shrinking body mass, I shouldn't be surprised. I've lost five pounds for no real reason since (month) when I finally got loose from the U.S. Ahh-me. It seems I'm disappearing slowly despite weight lifting and karate and lotsa peanut butter in my diet. Potential next article? The unbalancing combination of college girls and cucumbers.
Wow, I keep staring at the chick in the towel. Uh. Uh. Okay, enough with my insight / attempts at humor.