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I think that opposing same-sex marriage is a pretty clear sign of anti-gay sentiments. The legal status of the relationship between consenting adults doesn't have much real-world affect on the lives of others. In my opinion, there is no reason to oppose same-sex marriage unless you have a problem with the people who want to marry.
Hate crime laws are another story. Allowing the government to hand out extra punishment to criminals motivated by certain political/social views is a dangerous road to go down. There's nothing inherently homophobic (or racist, sexist, etc.) about opposing hate crime laws. But, in fairness, I'm guessing that most "hatemongers" probably oppose hate crime laws as well.
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"I am certain that nothing has done so much to destroy the safeguards of individual freedom as the striving after this mirage of social justice." - Friedrich Hayek
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