Any time I make extra money from streetfairs, etc., I put at least half back into wherever the supply money came from, like the charge card or checking account. I really feel like it's not mine, just paid back borrowed money.
I also 'stash cash' for anything planned, trips, etc.-$5, $1 bills go into a box a few times a week-again, I feel like it's not mine when it's in the box. I have tried to get the spouse to do this, but he is of the thinking that ALL the money, regardless of where it is, is his to spend, which has at leastly partly created the mess we're now in. And, because of that line of thinking, when I go somewhere or buy something, he gets angry that I'm spending 'his' money on my things. It's as if he has no mental accounting at all.
His debit card seems to not be real money and he uses it way too much, causing even more stress and screwing up my own 'accounting'.
I used to be of the mental accounting that 'extra' money, like seeing more hours paid in the check than I thought, was 'free' and I'd buy lottery tickets, wine, maybe a shirt with it. I changed that line of thinking-'found' money now is not mine, it's a bill's or the saving's account's money-I claim no rights to it. Same with the income tax refunds-every year that pays our car insurance for the year and/or buys whatever appliance we're overdue to replace.
When we realize that we only have so much to ourselves and so much to what we owe, I think we can control finances better, but it has to be a joint effort; even seeing the figures in the checkbook don't register to the spouse, telling him 'hey, that $1800 is due in two weeks and I bought this thing I don't need'. Meanwhile, my internal calculator is smoking and churning.
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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.
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