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First off, get rid of the notion that you'd be 'throwing away four and a half years', regardless of what comes....you have grown during that time; you've learned a lot, done a lot, so they wouldn't be thrown away or wasted. Nothing is forever, nothing.
Second, you say you 'put 150% in' and that' he's 'trying', but then you say he's not doing enough....what is it you're looking for? Are there attempts to change him? What did you fall in love with? Which brings me to the next thing....
A wise friend once explained 'in love' and 'love' and I've found this to be true:
Being "in love" means a desire of greedy proportions-it's sexual, it's some level of wanting to possess and it's intensely all-encompassing. "Loving" someone is acceptance, ultimately deeper than the former, without the greed and desires taking a stronghold. They are not mutually exclusive, but they can be and are different. And 'in love' can change, which frightens us when that happens because we have confused it with the deeper feelings. In other words, we may no longer be 'in love', but we still love deeply. And when we think we're giving more than our partners, the desires diminish as we tire of the same go-rounds; fear of losing the person entirely sets in....
I hope this makes sense, Mandy.
Ultimately, you need to communicate to each other what each expects, wants, sees for the future and not fear the fading of the intensities you both had at the beginning as something much more meaningful and lasting can come out of it. Good luck.
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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.
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