Quote:
Originally Posted by eribrav
What do you think it means relationship-wise that you posted this here where he's going to see it?
Is that something to ponder?
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Do you feel it's something to ponder eribrav? I did not post this here for him to see it, but if he does what the hell!
I posted this here because this place has been my family for almost 3 years now. they have helped me through alot of tough times in my life and i share more with them than i do with my own family. which is really weird. but yeah...so, if he sees it, good. if he doesnt, then great. but thats not the reason i posted it here.
Charleton...we havn't broken up...let's just get that outta the way.
we discussed it last night and he is willing to fight to keep the, for lack of a better phrase, life that we've built together over the past four and a half years.
before he told me this, i told him that i didn't want to speak to him but he told me that he made a promise to me that he will always try to make things right before we went to bed.so, i let him try.
so, not broken up..but my threads are wearing thin.
we're having some problems though and i'm tired of having to pick up the pieces of my heart. for four and a half years i feel i've been giving 150% but he doesn't put in the same.
he does try, don't get me wrong, he tries, but it feels like he doesn't try because he wants to, most of the time, it feels more like he's doing what he does because he doesn't want me to be cross with him or get angry at him...i can't get to the word now.
he's so inconsiderate sometimes and selfish and i'm just tired of doing everything in my power to make him happy all the time. it takes it's toll on you. i sacrifice myself for him ALL the time. and he's working on it, he really is, i can't deny that. i won't deny the fact that i know he wants to be with me and i won't deny the fact that i want to be with him.
but where do i draw the line where my happiness is concerned?
i need him to know that it can't go on like this because if it does, then i don't see a future for us.
and it's not that i want to throw away four and a half years...it's that i don't want t go through another 50 years of always putting ME last.
I love him so much and i don't think i'll be able to go on without him but what if a time comes that i have to?