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Originally Posted by abaya
No, no, and no. Who cares if someone is inexperienced, as long as they are honest about it and not fumbling through? My husband was inexperienced when we first had sex (long before we got married), and I found it extremely sexy and cool that he had the confidence to ask what I liked or didn't like. If he had pretended to know better than he did, for example from a list or something, that would have been unattractive as a sign of a huge ego and/or insecurity (same thing). It was his humble approach and honesty that got my attention, and made me very grateful for his character.
On the flipside, I once dated a guy (messed around, didn't sleep with) who thought he was god's gift to women and thought he knew everything about everything.  No way, man... the guy ended up being a total asshole, never figured out how to get me off (because he was too arrogant to ask, having been with so many women before), and was generally too annoying to deal with in the long term. |
I see what you are saying, and believe me I am not suggesting that someone go in with confidence in their abilities if they are inexperienced. What I am proposing is that people actually pay attention to their partners reactions instead of trying to rush through sex.
While, to you, asking is a turn on because it shows confidence, to me it is, again, the complete opposite. I don't care if you are inexperienced, but asking what I like says "Err, what do you want me to do to you?" I dont want to have to tell the person I am with what to do; be adventerous, explore my body, see what makes me tick. In my opinion, you should be connected with the person you are with enough to know what their reactions mean.
Though I suppose different strokes for different folks.