Dying inside
Okay Ladies...
I am dying inside here...literally.
I am trying to let go of someone that I love with every fiber of my being. And I feel like my world is caving in on me. Suffocating me.
We have not been together for a while now but we have remained very close. He is my best friend and he understands me completely and all is unconditional between us. Complete honesty, complete trust. Never judging, always accepting. Sharing our poems, sharing life.
We have shared tears and laughter and walked a steady path of friendship from the word go. One always there to catch the other when they fall. Always giving each other the breeze under our wings when we need the help to lift us off the ground. Never a mean word spoken.
Such a beautiful gift was placed before us with such bad timing. No faults, no blame, just life. I can’t stand the thought of disconnecting myself from him, of not having that contact, the friendship that means so very much to me. I don’t want to lose my best friend. But I don’t know how to separate my love from the friendship. How do I do that? I mean the two go hand in hand in my world where he resides. I am so confused.
While I have come to realize that I need to let go, all I really want to do is reach back, touch his face, stroke his cheek with the back of my hand, look into his eyes, tell him I love him and hold him. Keep him deep within my soul.
I don’t know my point for posting this.
Perhaps I simply needed to release…
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In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer.
~Albert Camus
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