Well folks, thanks for your input.
To make a long story short, we did some talking this weekend about our rules for our separation. We're going to find a new couples counselor this week, hopefully. But I am very concerned because we started talking about s e x. And...seeing other people. Yes. eventually it came out that he's interested in dating other women, and possibly having sex with them, if it came to that.
While I can't say I've never thought about being with another man, I was totally not even thinking about dating other people. He said he wouldn't have sex and/or date (two-tier plan, eh?) if I said I didn't want to allow that. He already has women in mind! I have to say that if he wants it, and I say "No", then he'll feel like it wasn't a full or "real" separation in the future...We've decided to hold off on that decision until we get a new couple's counselor to bounce it off of, and I thanked him truthfully and sincerely for his honesty.
And now I'm pretty devistated. I'm trying really hard to remain positive and open-minded and not take it personally...but hell. He still insists that he wants our marriage to be healed, but that there are major things that would have to be changed.
At the very least, I think it's a big mistake to even casually start relationships with others while working on another.
I'm trying to not be pessimistic and self-pitying. But the fact that he wants to do that makes me feel like it's already pretty much over. Or is this just life and how people are, and I need to grow up?
Edited to add:
Please be aware that I love this man! I was prepared to continue on with him for the rest of my life warts and all! So sarcastic, easy comments are not the input that I'm looking for, OK? Finding out that the man that you love wants to date and fuck other women isn't easy or funny to deal with, just so you know.
