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Originally Posted by hagatha
Sounds like S doesn't know the meaning of friendship. If you have to explain it to S the battle is already lost. Investment or no, some relationships run their course and then its done.
How do you feel about just walking away?
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This is true, Hagatha. Some relationships do run their course.
Part of me is perfectly OK with walking away...but there is the other part of me that says "This isn't right. It's wrong and needs to be fixed."
I can't help but sometimes wish that T. would just disappear...
Perhaps she'll show her "true colors" once again and S. will wake up...till then I'm trying to play it cool.
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Originally Posted by lurkette
Like sands through the hourglass...
The dude's obviously mental, and you obviously still care about him, beyond simply being concerned about his well-being. You might ask yourself why you consider this guy your "best friend" when he blows you off for a married tease. He sounds like he's missing a few screws, and you sound like you're still carrying a flame for him and perhaps have never moved on.
Time to find friends who value you reciprocally. How old are you both, by the way? Except for the married woman, this all sounds very adolescent.
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I agree with you. It is very adolescent...especially when I'm faced with T. treating me as though I'm psychotic for still being in S.'s life as his best friend. She acts as though she has been his friend for 7+ years and I'm the one moving in on
her "territory". S. is no one's "property", obviously.
Amazingly enough, I am almost 28 years old; S. is 28 and T. is 29 years old.
I can't help but feel stupid for even putting thought into this issue, however, I just don't understand how 7+ years and multiple sacrifices for a person can be ignored for another person who has acted flaky and selfish.
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Originally Posted by hunnychile
More importantly.....who gets custody of the ferrets?
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Hunnychile, I'm still laughing! Awesome question!
Sadly, after S. had no choice but to move back home to another state (because of lies T. told his family), I lost my youngest female, Image. That is a story all of its own.
Within the same week that I lost Image, and moved home with my family, Jester (my favorite) became ill with the Flu and passed away in my arms...I was alone in my grief.
The only one I have now is Infiniti - the oldest of our original Fabulous Five, technically S.'s ferret.
I have been caring for her since he left Arizona in September. I don't see any reason why S. would take her back, as he works a lot and is still living with family.
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Originally Posted by shesus
Life is too short to follow around people and try to force relationships or friendships. Honestly, I don't have time for stuff like that so I would have dropped him awhile ago.
Just stop making contact and see what happens. He sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. However, it's not your job to hang around and be the fallback person. I have little patience for people like that.
Do what makes you happy in the end, but this type of relationship doesn't seem to be bringing any pleasure to you.
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I appreciate your bluntness. I agree with the fact that it isn't my job to be the fallback best friend. However, am I wrong for feeling bitter?
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Originally Posted by ngdawg
Some people are just takers. They have no clue what they're doing to others while they're out getting theirs. "Friendship" is a matter of convenience to them and they only take what they can out of it, moving in and out of lives, wreaking havoc.
Write him off as a learning experience. You deserve better.
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Thank you, Ng. I've missed talking to you on here.
It's so sad to see someone as charismatic as S. turn into such a blind person who ignores those who have done so much for him...I can only hope that he realizes what T. is before he gets hurt again.
I appreciate everyone's input and help. Feel free to post on this topic some more, it helps...I worry sometimes that I'm missing something...