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Q: The valley that runs down the trail over the west bank of the glorious state of Natchez-Pierce was the site of my own hideous undoing. My whole family was lain waste, no care taken by the natives that even baby Coolidge was to be spared an ounce of pain. How I came to be spared, by the grace of God, I shall never know. I had been smashed in the head with a boulder over fourteen times by a young Indian brave. When I awoke, with eyes still stinging from the smouldering decimation, my large blue eyes looked up into the burning sun of the late summer sky. No sooner had I stirred when four horsemen approached my wilted carcasse. In their stilted English, they told me in great detail how they had massacred mine own Ma and Pa, how my elder brother Ham had given no resistance to his own flogging, and how easy it had been to make my sickly sister, Sarah Susanna, wail and sob like a sea creature. I clenched my long, graceful fingers into tight fists at my sides, and turning my head away, laughed quietly to OH MY GOD LOOK OUT FOR THAT TREE!!!!
*crash smash boom*
*tinkle tinkle*
BARRY, ARE YOU OKAY?!??!
BARRY?!
WAKE UP
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*crying*
WHY
WHY
WHY
Oh, you're moving
Hi. How could you have not avoided the tree?!?!
~brought to you by Rasputina - My Captivity by Savages~
A: Greenpeace can cause more problems than PETA sometimes.
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