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Have you done a search for this topic? I know that I have commented personally on at least one "How to have anal sex" thread in the past, so it must be out there somewhere. There is also at least one thread on women using strap-ons with their male partners, which may also contain some useful tips.
That said, have you used smaller dildos to warm up your partner (or yourself)? When we started having anal sex, we found that in addition to plenty of lube, fingers and smaller silicone dildos were very good for getting the other person to relax gradually.
Have you ever experienced problems with anal sex before your current partner?
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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