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Lube.
That is (or should be) the first recommendation of any discussion on anal sex. Use it liberally. There's no such thing as too much until it pools on the sheets.
To directly address the question, you need to go slowly. Start with a finger and work your way up to two, then three (if I've got my measurements correct). Or you can try toys, increasing in size. And you've got to take your time. You're not going to be able to do it as a quicky. Instead of a quick snack, think long, drawn-out formal banquet. It's going to take a long time to get her to the point where she can handle you, and honestly, I think that you should probably try the first few times ending with fingers/toys and only introduce your penis once you're both sure she can handle it.
Finally, use lots of lube (it should be the last recommendation too).
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