I've taken several. As a dude, the trick is:
1) Lube: you'll need lubrication in order to relieve some of the pain that she'll probably feel.
2) GO SLOW: unless you get the order from her to go faster, you must take your time in order to make the encounter as comfortable as possible for her.
3) Try to go at less than 100%: I can't speak for anyone else, but after my first virgin, I figured out that going at 100% erect was too much. Its not easy, but trying to find a balance between full ahead and half mast is a good place for her.
Remember, the first few times will require delicacy and healing time. Warming up with oral can be quite helpful to get her own natural lubrication system going.
So far as advice for women deflowering men? He'll go off fast and be ready for round 2 very quickly, so don't just leave after the 15 second first time.
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