abaya

Well, at least you're trying to start. Just that in itself means that you're on the right path. Feeling overwhelmed is normal. However, whining about the negatives (e.g. "I can't... I can't...") is tempting, but completely and totally unnecessary for your well-being. The more you just get out and do things, take some risks, see what happens, make mistakes, learn new things... the better off you'll be.

I don't think you're nearly as bad off as you'd like to believe. You're on the right track. Just pick up some speed and do something new every day... even if it's something tiny that no one else will notice. Try to make yourself a sandwich. Boil an egg. Check out some job ads. Just one small thing every day. See what happens. Don't make so many demands on yourself. Just one thing.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran