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I'm just chiming in here to say that there is no magic divide between needing the medicine and not needing it. Brain chemistry is a funky thing and so many things can be at play. I am realizing (due to my current circumstances) that when I decided I suddenly didn't "need" medication anymore (or ever) a few years ago, it didn't mean that I was chemically predisposed to depression. It didn't really strike me because I exercised here and there (which helped chemically) and I also had a new lease on life because that was when I decided it wasn't anybody else's fault anymore.
You can choose to be unhappy. You can feel that way even when you have no reason to be (usually chemicals do that). Or, (and this is most common) some elaborate combination of both.
With my sprained ankle, I am whining a lot more than I ever liked to think I was capable of, but that's because the injury has robbed me of my happy drug of choice: I can't exercise sufficiently because all the cardiovascular exercise I have ever heard about requires use of your ankle. I don't always feel safe. I often wonder why life has to be so hard. But you know what? The number one most effective thing of all the the methods that have soothed my depressive tendencies was taking responsibility for myself. No one can take that away from you - you are always in charge of you and you always will be.
"If I knew why, I wouldn't have this problem."
The why is that it's scary and hard! But there's a big difference between hard things that hurt you and hard things that build you up. I think deep down you know the difference, but you are paralyzed with fear. We can't really help you here because our help only goes skin deep. You can help yourself best - from the inside.
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