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Originally Posted by Jennifer
I'm sort of intentionally feeding a mild obsession I have with a TV show in order to give myself something to focus on. I probably would have lost interest in the show naturally awhile back, but this way I have something to look forward to in the short-term.
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Well, that's a start, but I had in mind something a little more...outgoing. Something that would get you engaged with the world and other people. Do you have any hobbies you're interested in? Causes you're all lit up about? Things you've wanted to do but have been putting off? I think you need something to take you out of your own head and focus your energy outward.
Out of curiosity, what are your plans for after college? Are you moving to a different city? Do you have a job lined up? Grad school? What's your degree in, and what field are you going to get into? Where are your friends going?
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During the second meeting with the counselor, he suggested putting me in contact with a psychiatrist to discuss the possibility of medication. I adamantly refused, but since then a few of my friends have talked me into going just to see what the psychiatrist says. My appointment is in two weeks, which only gives me two weeks until graduation. After that, I don't know what I'll do if I need medication. Whether the medicine works or not, I don't think my parents will react well to me using it. My mother doesn't even take her own blood pressure medication, let alone tolerate the idea of me taking medication for something like depression (I'm not trying to talk down to people who need medication for depression, I'm just trying to explain my mother's viewpoint that I'll have to deal with if I need it).
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Okay, I wouldn't let myself be swayed by the opinion of a woman who refuses to take medicine for a diagnosed physical condition. Does she want to have a heart attack? Geez!
There are lots of opinions about medication for mental health disorders, and I'm on the fence about the issue myself. Here's my thinking:
1. There are some people for whom depression/anxiety/whatever is genuinely a chronic chemical imbalance. Almost pure brain chemistry.
2. There are a host of other people for whom depression/anxiety/whatever is a combination of cognitive processes that have resulted in a particular neurochemical reaction - the mental feeds the chemical and vice versa, and you've got yourself a nice, tight little vicious cycle.
3. There are other people for whom depression/anxiety/whatever is almost purely a matter of mental processes that are normal reactions to life events - people who are going through grief, divorce, stressful transitions, etc.
For people in category 1, medication is a necessity that lets their brain function normally. But most people fall into categories 2 or 3. For people in category 3, medication is usually inappropriate, IMHO. If you're just going through a rough spot, the medicine is unlikely to do much besides dampen the effect of emotions that are entirely appropriate to the situation. You'll get through it, and it's better to just learn to cope. However, there are some people for whom being in category 3 leads to a more chronic pattern of depression/anxiety/whatever and puts them into category 2. The problem is knowing which people those are and putting them on the meds to prevent them from sliding into chronic depression.
Now, for people in category 2 (which is where I think you fall), medication is a choice. You definitely need to re-wire your brain somehow. You've got some patterns of thought that produce a chemical reaction that brings you down, so to speak. Think about your mind/brain like a bunch of canals. Your consciousness is the water that carves the canals. You have some negative thoughts that have dug some pretty deep channels that are now the path of least resistance. What you need to do is carve some new canals with new thought patterns. Cognitive-behavior therapy is a really good tool for digging those new canals. And what medication can do is (metaphorically) make the stuff you're digging through softer so you can cut those new canals faster. You wouldn't pooh-pooh taking insulin to fix your blood chemistry; similarly, there should be no shame in taking medicine to fix your brain chemistry. Some people can manage their diabetes with diet and exercise, and some people can fix their depression with changes in behavior and thinking. But if you can't, the medication is there to help.
But back to exercise: There are ways to change your neurochemistry without medication. Exercise as been shown to be just as effective as Prozac at lessening depressive symptoms. No joke. 20 minutes of moderate exercise (like fast walking) 3 times a week. Both medication and exercise will take about 6 weeks to take effect. The problem is getting motivated to exercise when you're essentially dealing with a disorder that saps your motivation. Which is why many people rely on the medication instead.
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In any case, I'm feeling pretty good right now but I don't know how long it will last.
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My advice would be: while you're feeling pretty good, start doing some things that will keep you on an even keel long-term. Start exercising if you don't already; get involved in something that you look forward to and that puts you in contact with people on a regular basis; and get thee to a cognitive-behavior therapist.