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Then neither one of you is being clear to the other. Nothing is harmless if it bothers someone else.
You have several ways to go with this. Obviously, she's dismissing your feelings and opinions, which is adding to your frustration, I'm sure.
Eighteen years married is a long time and she's no longer 20-a fact that is not lost on her and in fact, may very well be the reason she does this so much and so blatantly; she's feeling like yesterday's news and needs to show she's still 'got it' to the outside world.
Remember as a teenager, feeling awkward or unattractive and your mom would say how good looking you were, talented, etc.? And we'd shrug that off as 'You're supposed to say that, you're Mom.'? Kinda the same thing here. It doesn't matter how sexy, beautiful, etc., you find her-validation needs are desired from outsiders.
Since you can't change her behavior and she refuses to stop, you have to change your own reactions. Leave the room, flirt yourself, do what it takes to get you out of the situation that brings your anger. Hell, walk up behind her, grab her breasts and remind her loudly those go home with you! That alone might get her to back off some.
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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.
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