What a tough position to be in...you're at the end of a college career, so doing anything to make your situation better feels like a waste of time.
I would suggest finding something to get passionate about to carry you through the transition, and beyond. You sound really "shut down" about life, a place I've been off and on for, oh, about 30 years now
and the hardest part is convincing yourself that anything you do is going to make a difference. Don't waste time convincing yourself...just get up and do something. You'll find that the energy and the passion will come after the fact. For now what it takes is a leap of faith. Find something that excites you and just get involved as much as possible!
I would also highly recommend seeking out a permanent therapist, preferably one who specializes in cognitive behavior therapy. A few things you've said triggered some concerns for me - you sound like you've internalized a lot of negative things about yourself, and it's time to let those go and re-learn how to think about yourself and your life. Do it now while you're young - the longer you wait, the more ingrained those habits of thought are going to be.