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Very good story and a great culmination to it all.
My only gripe is that almost every sentence you use is an appositive or has a break mid-sentence of a thought that could be conveyed otherwise.
Writing should be a varying array of sentence structure and prose, but if all the sentences sound the same, then it's no fun at all.
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As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves. —Mohandas K. Gandhi
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