Just a suggestion -
Listen to:
http://polyweekly.libsyn.com/
You need terms to describe both your limits and your reasons for having what you're currently calling an 'open relationship' - at least, I find it helps.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collective_effervescence
and
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compersion
are among my favourites
I don't know what I'd do without them.