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Originally Posted by Sweetpea
professional help.. for her individually and for you as a couple... (snip)
If she doesn't want to attend therapy and move past this... I'd see that as a real warning sign, don't stay in a marriage that won't work.
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You would probably find solo counseling for you to be useful, in addition. You shouldn't be ashamed to be angry or bitter about the situation, but you still need to deal with those emotions. Good luck.