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debaser · 04-13-2007, 02:34 PM

Hire a russian prostitute with a heart of gold, introduce her to your father as your fiance on the day of the school visit and announce that she will accompany you to the deans office. On the way pay a guy in a gorilla suit to attack you and throw her in a Stanley Steamer van before driving away. You could then pretend to be inconsolable and drink yourself into a stupor, only to wake up realizing there was a real soul-bond betwixt you and poor Svetlana. The only thing to do at that point would be to take a road trip in an old rusty 1971 Plymouth Satellite with a few of your best pals and a midget to Austin, TX where she has been imprisoned by a mob boss for turning states evidence. In the end you would have found your true love, and probably lost a toe (and all of your dignity) in the climactic action that would result from your meeting.

That might distract your parents for a while...

But seriously, why didn't you burn the original?

04-13-2007, 02:34 PM	#30 (permalink)
debaser Sir, I have a plan... Location: 38S NC20943324	Hire a russian prostitute with a heart of gold, introduce her to your father as your fiance on the day of the school visit and announce that she will accompany you to the deans office. On the way pay a guy in a gorilla suit to attack you and throw her in a Stanley Steamer van before driving away. You could then pretend to be inconsolable and drink yourself into a stupor, only to wake up realizing there was a real soul-bond betwixt you and poor Svetlana. The only thing to do at that point would be to take a road trip in an old rusty 1971 Plymouth Satellite with a few of your best pals and a midget to Austin, TX where she has been imprisoned by a mob boss for turning states evidence. In the end you would have found your true love, and probably lost a toe (and all of your dignity) in the climactic action that would result from your meeting. That might distract your parents for a while... But seriously, why didn't you burn the original? __________________ Fortunato became immured to the sound of the trowel after a while.