senescha,
i think you need to backtrack a bit and get to the bottom of masturbation being immoral, or presumably "wrong" or "unnatural." no one loves you like you do, so to speak. i've run into certain eastern disciplines where spilling of the seed is considered immoral, and i believe this is the case with some sects of christianity as well. is this where you are deriving this from? if so, perhaps you could speak to someone in your church/temple, whatever. perhaps they can give you a pass on this one. i can't imagine my parents telling me that i just need to blow one out. that's kind of funny.
oh, and analog: "take the problem in hand." ha!
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You don't love me, you just love my piggy style
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