change is hard.
Location: the green room.
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A Seat Outside (short story)
I wrote this very quickly but enjoy it very much. First time poster so be kind.
A Seat Outside
Her name is Elaine. Elaine is quiet and unintrusive in demeanor; she lives to create situations in which others are not reminded of the unintrusive life she lives. In regards to her own personality, she has made one small jest throughout her years; her nephew demanded she take him to church, she did of course, not wanting to displease the eager child, where in which she heard a tall priest exclaim “the meek shall inherit the Earth,” to which she retorted “I haven’t even won a radio contest before.” Which was true, she had never won anything before.
Never.
What is true, even more so then this, is that she had never taken the time to try. Elaine believed that the odds of winning a radio contest, or any contest in particular, were not in her favor. Therefore she did not try. She once picked up the phone and dialed the number, and got the busy signal of the local radio station which knowingly beeped tones of failure, each beep a shrewd jab at her non-winning ways, and she shook her head with a smile; how silly of her to try. She was, very much indeed so, Elaine; she just didn’t win. How silly.
This however, did not upset Elaine; in fact, little to nothing in Elaine’s life upset her. She might say that the mistreatment of animals upset her, or the rude and curt manner of customer-service people over the phone made her feel slightly annoyed. If asked about this though, she would shrug, most likely with a smile, and say plainly “it wasn’t that bad”. Her life, to all she shared a fraction of her daily comings with, seemed devoid of anything and everything that would make it a life; drama, comedy were two variables rarely found within the bubble in which Elaine existed. It took place around her, above her, under her, and behind her, but never to her. Never with her. Elaine did not think anything of this fact, she often denounced the lack of luster that existed in her life, claiming it was normal. Others thought it strange. Thought it strangely plain.
Everyday that passed was simply just another day for Elaine, not in a negative or positive way; it just was. She didn’t pass her day with anyone in particular, or in any way in particular, but nevertheless it passed with her in it. This thought made her smile when she woke up in the morning, often when she gained access to conscious thought in front of her bathroom vanity mirror which was lined with bright, rounded bulbs; her life continued and that made her grin.
Perhaps the only strange thing about Elaine, that of course noone knew because it was simply private, was that she often masturbated; most times it was at entirely inappropriate times. She never paid any attention to this trait, it did not seem alien to her because she had never had it brought up in conversation, and she had never mentioned it, or anything at that, because of her overwhelming timidness in social situations. Her mother witnessed it once, when Elaine was a young girl, and her mother quickly walked out of the room and never brought it up; Elaine assumed it wasn’t bad as it wasn’t anything to be talked about.
Elaine worked as a personal secretary at a small law firm downtown, for a Mr. Thomas Tidswell; a man of forty three, soon to become partner, with salt and pepper sideburns which he groomed meticulously when alone, with a wetted index finger. She often did her work within the time set aside each work day to do so, and on one such day she sat down to lunch with a co-worker that Elaine considered to be a friend; although they did not see each other outside of business hours, and talked of nothing personal. Most of their conversations, in fact all if Elaine could remember clearly, had nothing to do with anything Elaine said, but was always furthered by the incessant and welcome chatter of one Mrs. Gerd Rooney. Gerd worked as a secretary as well, but at the front desk of the firm, rather than directly with the lawyers; between the two jobs there was a world of difference, Gerd once pointed out. On this day in particular Gerd had run out of things to say, or rather complaints to spout, about her husband and turned her hawk-like attention to Elaine.
“You know,” she said with a finger pointed lazily at Elaine, “you are way too shy. I knew this girl in highschool who never said anything, and one day she was raped.” Elaine considered this point but saw no relation between the rape and the girl’s social ineptness. She also realized she knew no one in highschool who would be tagged shy and this made her frown in concentration. “My point is,” Gerd said continuing, this time prodding the air with her finger, “you need to take what’s yours, you know, don’t take things lying down.” This inspired Elaine in the smallest of ways, and as she stood to take her garbage and tray to the refuse bin, the thought of Elaine and untapped confidence lingered.
Two hours after the lunchtime conversation she sat in a meeting, where Mr. Tidswell and his sideburns were discussing something or other with a number of Lawyers and a few of their own personal secretaries; Elaine simply could not concentrate as an overwhelming urge was distracting her. She began to tap her foot in frustration but stayed calm as not to distract the group and their discussion. However, unlike the many other countless meetings that Elaine had quietly ignored this very same urge, the words of Gerd protruded her thoughts, and they rang quite true indeed, as if Gerd had envisioned this very same moment of timidness, so she finally raised her hand firmly. Mr. Tidswell, who stopped mid sentence, looked at Elaine in confusion, cocked his head, and said, “yes, Elaine?”.
Elaine smiled and clearly said with confidence, “Mr. Tidswell, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom. I have an overwhelming urge to touch myself.” The room was silent, not a laugh or gasp was heard, so Elaine stood and excused herself with a smile and a nod under the assumption that since there was no debate, there was no issue.
Elaine closed the door silently, as not to become an even bigger distraction, and as she walked to the bathroom the already large smile on her face grew larger, she stood straighter, and an intensified feeling of self-worth passed over her. And as her smile grew larger she thought to herself that after she finished masturbating in a bathroom stall she might return to her desk, turn on a radio, and search the static for a station and dabble in a contest or two. She was feeling very lucky indeed.
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EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.
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