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It seems to me that there are multiple problems here. First, are you needy? I think you probably are, but I don't think it's a bad or even unusual thing. Almost all people need intimate (not necessarily sexual) human contact once in a while, and I would classify your behavior within that scope. In other words, you don't seem any different than most people.
Second, I think your wife, while not having a physical affair, is definitely having an emotional one, possible with multiple people. It's entirely possible that she came to terms with her sexuality recently, but her response to it is where I have a problem. She is married to you, and that kind of commitment means that she should at least interact with you honestly. If she doesn't want to be married to you so that she can pursue her interest in other women, she needs to be honest about that with the understanding that it could cause issues with your daughter, both legally and emotionally.
Good luck with the counseling. I think that it's a least a step in the right direction, wherever that may lead.
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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo
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