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A drinking story from me, one of my favorites.
It was probably 4 summers ago, I had just graduated with my Undergraduate degree and was getting ready to move to the city to start a career as a musician/music teacher. My last two good friends back in my home town decided we were going to get hammered one night, one of them works in the Oil industry and had just gotten off a tour and had money burning holes in his pocket and subsequently bought (what we call in Nova Scotia) a Texas Mickey, which is basically 3L of Rye. We named it "Wee Lad" and took it to one of my friend's apartment, went to the store to pick up many bottles of mic, snacks and bottled water for the morning (if there was one). I had no intention of spending the whole night.
We commenced drinking about around 8pm and went hard at it for many hours. We drank over half the damn thing between the 3 of us. During the course of the evening there were many strange drunken (very drunken things) that happened and they all took place in order.
First, we were on the back porch staring in the gravel private lot where the owner of this house turned into cheap apartments had a beat up broken car that he left there for when he came to town so he had a ride. The damn thing had 3 flats and was probably 20yrs old. He lived in BC and came only once a year just to make sure everything was border line legal. We hated that bastard so my friend Donnie exclaimed
"Fuck I gotta piss"
naturally I said "Go piss!" the other friend, Erick said "Fuck dude, piss on his car!"
He proceeded not only to piss on his car, but piss in his gas tank. At this point we knew the defilement was going to get out of hand. We all pissed on his car, the hood, the windows, everywhere. Then The subject, an hour later turned to Women. Me and erick had a drunken heart to heart about why we were single while Donnie went to take a number 2. When he came out the conversation got abit more explicit, Donnie exclaimed he hadn't gotten any in months and he was desperate to "bust a fucking nut" I said, fuck it dude, if you gotta do it then do it.
He proceeded to jerk off onto previously mentioned automobile much to our shock and drunken cheers.
Then came the hunger part. We devoured 3 big bags of chips, then we continued to drink. A bunch of people started to show up, I don't remember who.
Then at around 2:30 in the morning I decided it was time to go. I was hammered, probably in the top 3 drunkest things ever I partook in decided walking home was easy. So I managed to get down the stairs and not kill myself, I was golden. I started to walk home thinking I was just fine no problem until the Cops rolled up on me flashing the blues.
Apparently I was all over the damn place on the sidewalk. The Bars were just getting out so they thought I was probably so loaded I got kicked out of one and was heading to the next. The officer rolled the window down and this conversation took place
Officer: "Son, where are you going?"
Me: "... I'm going home" I stated, probalby slured
Officer: "Alright, and where is Home?"
Me: trying to remember my address, which didn't happen, I looked down the road, I knew I was 1/2 way there, near the turn to my street "That way!" i pointed with confidence.
Officer: (laughing) "That way?" he said looked to his partner "Do you think you can get there alright?"
Me: looking at him as if insulted "I got this far didn't I!"
Officer cracks up laughing and just drives off
I made it somehow, I don't remember going into my bed but I woke up the next day with only a slight hang over. Apparently Donnie and Erick went up to the 24/hr store nd tried to buy a pizza and failed miserably
good times
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"A real leader faces the music, even if he doesn't like the tune." - unknown quote
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