The thing is I do trust her.
I trust her not to hurt me and vice versa.
Intellectually, I don't care if she sleeps around. I know if I can justify it in my head, there is no reason she can't in hers.
Emotionally, I do care. It would would make me jealous to think of her with someone else (and she has said the same for me).
We recognize that sometimes there are other needs that need to be met. The way to resolve this is trusting the other to be discreet and recognize the risk that if the other does hear about it, it's over.
This is why I don't use the deal. The risk is too high for me. It wasn't always this way.
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Originally Posted by ngdawg
While ours is not completely over, it is not the same at all and probably never will be. Some of us are just not 'marriage material'.
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I don't know about "marriage material" I don't know what that means. All I know is that marriage is a lot of work and both partners have to do a lot of heavy lifting. If one person is not working as hard as the other, it will never work.
Some people are just not meant to be together, makes more sense as a universal statement.
Marriage is not always forever. People change and I see no reason why something that was successful in the past must remain so. Sometimes divorce *is* the answer. I would never want to be in a marriage that wasn't working. It isn't good for the kids and it isn't good for either partner.