that's a sticky situation man, I feel for you.
I would be pretty ticked off if she didn't tell me she was raped years before. That obviously is a horrible thing to happen to anyone and it certainly isn't something that would go away. But man, it's just not right for her to keep that from you until the first time you are together Husband and Wife. If you are a unit now those sorts of things have to be shared.
However, Sex is one aspect of a relationship and you no doubt will have to be patient. I know for me personally no matter how horny one can get, doing it with someone who is not interested, yet willing (ie someone not into sex with you but for the sake of pleasing you) is not really worth it in the end. Especially if there are huge feelings of guilt afterwards. Yeah man you're between a rock and a hard place, I sympathize with you for sure.
I hope that your Wife's counciler can help her not just for your own sexual relationship but to improve her life by getting past this horrible act
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"A real leader faces the music, even if he doesn't like the tune." - unknown quote
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