What a nice little mess you have there.
Whatever you said to her must have been something beyond my comprehension because you both have such a nasty history of hurting and forgiving each other, for her to NEVER forgive you for something says a lot.
If I were you, I would write her an email, pretty similar to the one from her that you posted. Explain your thought process before and after the incident where you blew up at her, what you're sorry for, your regrets, and probably most important... your intentions and hopes for the future.
Honestly, I think you're right about needing a miracle... a relationship that has been damaged this badly, where there is very little trust between each other, doesn't have much hope for success without a LOT of time and space apart for individual growth. I would go ahead and write the email, be completely genuine and honest and without expectation regarding her response, and then try to move on with your life.
Right now she is like a wounded animal... if you try and come to close or force anything, she will only resist harder. You need to let her come to you... but that will take time. Lots of time.
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"Tie yourself to your limitless potential, rather than your limiting past."
"Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him."
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