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If you're classified as an "at will" employee, it's possible that he could fire you for missing the meeting in some states. If you really can't change your plans, I'd ask him for his advice after explaining the importance of the other event.
If he pushes back hard, I'd think very hard about skipping the family event. This has all the warning signs of big important changes that you need to hear.
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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo
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