As far as the strict classroom expectations go, I think it's just his feelings about how he wants his class to go. Certainly a little stronger than most teachers, but nothing insanely out there. I've had a few teachers who wanted to know about absences, even if it's only after the fact. The whole sharing notes thing is kind of an empty threat. He probably feels better about saying it, but 1) why would you ever share notes on a class with people not taking a class and 2) how would he possibly show that you used your notes from the class as the source, unless you copy what he says verbatim? I guess maybe he's concerned about students taking his ideas to other people or trying to get them published themselves? Seems pretty silly and not really very important.
I don't give my phone number to teachers unless I'm working with them on a specific small-group project where they have good reason to be contacting me by phone to schedule things. I am also very wary about ever calling a teacher. I don't know that I ever have, actually, at least, not as a teacher. I had a few college professors with whom I became very close and I called and was called in the capacity of friendship, not in the capacity of teacher/student.
Calling someone about something trivial past 9 PM unless you know their sleep/evening habits is exceptionally rude, in my book. Calling a student at home about really anything except for an emergency, I think, is simply outside the scope of appropriate conduct for a teacher. E-mail exists for a reason, and for almost all student/teacher purposes, it is by far the most effective means of communication. There's something overly personal about receiving a phone call from a teacher at home, and I would be unhappy about it. I'd do what Gilda and warrrr suggested and talk to the department chair or the dean. He seems a little touchy as it is, so talking to him personally might set him off. Better to speak with his superiors.
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