To be clear, I did not intend to equate all dominants or sadists with rapists, only to say that there is a power element present in all of those mindsets.
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Originally Posted by Frosstbyte
I think conflating dominants with rapists walks a dangerous line. The times I've forayed into the D/S scene and the people I know who are heavily into it are probably more conscience of issues of consent than most others, and often in a much more explicit way.
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Of course, consent is the element that makes the difference. Sex with consent is good fun. Without, it's rape. Sadism with a willing masochist is good fun. Without consent, it's abuse, torture, assault. Domination with a willing submissive is good fun. Without, it's psychological abuse.
It's when there is a lack of consent that any relationship becomes abusive.
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I suppose you're much more qualified to talk about D/S relationships than I am, Gilda, but I don't think that being a dominant and being a rapist and taking out those desires really reflect the same type of person.
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Neither do I. I was attempting to draw a parallel between the appeal of the power aspects involved there, not between rapists and consensual dominants or sadists. The exercise of power is very exciting, in some in a sexual way, both in consensual and non-consensual interactions.
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Certainly power factors into both, but I don't view rape as an extreme of being dominant. Both branches along the same line, but with very different mindsets.
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While I do think that degree matters as much as the type of behavior, and that behavior that is acceptable at one degree is unacceptable at another more extreme level, I don't see rape as a direct, extreme form of domination, so we're pretty much in agreement here.
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Originally Posted by james t kirk
As ugly as rape might be, it's a million miles from murder.
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I wasn't comparing them qualitatively, but as a means of exerting control.
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It's not the same unfortunately. You can masturbate all you want, it doesn't take the edge off.
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I didn't say it was the same.
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As a male, I can inform you, as can most men on here, that female sexual partners are not always readily available.
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I didn't say "always".
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Hence, a truly hard up man can be a dangerous thing.
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Yet, most hard up men don't rape women. What do you think might be the difference there between the two groups? Other than rapists being scum, which is obvious.
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Prostitutes cost money, and there are lots of hard up guys out there who are either cheap, or can not afford a call girl as frequently as desired.
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So being cheap is a mitigating factor in rape now?
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In wars for example, rape is common place. At the end of WW2, Russian soldiers raped the women of Germany at will. In Berlin for example there were an estimated 2 million rapes in the spring of 1945. That was a case where normal human behaviour was right out the window. It wasn't about power, if it was about power, the Russian soldiers could simply have killed the women in an instant and no questions asked. We humans walk a very fine line between so called civilized behaviour and into the heart of darkness.
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Killing would have been a different way of exerting dominance (power), sure. It's not the only way available. Yes, killing is about power. That doesn't mean that rape isn't.
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No, for men, sex can very very easily be JUST about the physical sensations. There doesn't have to be anything other than the fact that it feels very good.
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Rape involves the choice to disregard the lack of consent. The fact that it feels good explains masturbation, not rape.