abaya

Interesting, I often feel the same way (except that I am married and will have kids in the future). I've always been a tomboy, very difficult for me to be "feminine," and I love Subarus and Indigo Girls. No one has ever called me a lesbian, though when I was single from age 19-24 my mother starting wondering aloud if I was gay (of all people!).

I'd say I'm bi-curious, since I've definitely fantasized about women but have never had the chance to follow through on that (I don't even grind on women in clubs... I think it's kind of distasteful, since most of them are doing it for attention from guys). It may happen in the future, it may not... either way, it's not a huge crusher for my life. I'm happy with my husband, and simultaneously curious about what it'd be like to experience a woman. But I'm not driven to it, I guess... mostly because I've only really fantasized about two women in particular, over a period of about 5 years. And I enjoy some lesbian porn.

I will say, though, that when I first thought about kissing a girl (5 years ago), I was still a virgin in every sense of the word... and I was really concerned about what that "meant" for me. Did it mean that I was a lesbian? Did it mean I might never have or enjoy sex with a man? I thought about that for a good couple of years before realizing that I still really like men (and sex with them!), but that the occasional woman somehow just turns me on. No understanding of why, but that's just the way I am.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran