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Originally Posted by mx5me
A lot of my fantasies are about women, but all of my partners have been men and I can't imagine ever going without one (sexually). I'd like to have the experience of being with a woman, but I know, as much as you can know, that I will continue having relationships with men. I'm believe in the Kinsey scale for men and women, but men are more represssed.
This has always felt a little uncomfortable for me because I'm a die-hard tomboy in some ways. I'm a girl who likes to work on cars, is an engineer, into sports, doesn't want to get married and have kids, but I'm still feminine (cripes, I think!  ). Actually, sometimes I laugh because I look at my life and I see every stupid "lesbian" stereotype fulfilled: I like Subarus, Indigo Girls, whatever, leave me alone! On a side note, I don't know why everything awesome gets correlated to being a lesbian, but I guess people must think all lesbians have great taste in things. Needless to say, I've been teased for such things, but I believe that it's the reflex of males who are intimidated by strong female equivalents to label their female counterparts as lesbians, perhaps to somehow make those females more male-like and less demasculinating to themselves in some way? And it seems that society at large has adopted this idea, and that makes me sad. Anyway, for whatever reason, I have times when I'm acutely aware of how others see me in this way, and it can be uncomfortable. It's amazing how others' views of you can make you question yourself, but I've had some good honest talks with myself, and I like dudes.  |
It's a shame that girls and woman who engage in what used to be typically masculine pursuits often get the label, and nearly always inaccurately. A visible minority of lesbians to actively take on masculine gender roles, but the idea that any woman who does this is a lesbian or is exhibiting homosexual tendencies is ridiculous. Correlations don't work that way when you're looking at populations with such a huge difference in size.
What you're talking about are gender roles, and to a lesser degree, gender presentation, which exist separate from orientation, and exist at a higher level of human sexuality than orientation. Gender roles are more easily influenced than orientation, can be freely chosen, and are not highly correlated to orientation.
On the other end of the scale from you--masculine profession and interest in sports and other typically masculine pursuits, while still heterosexual--there are lesbians like me, girly-girls with a typically feminine manner of presentation, profession, no interest in contact sports (but plenty in artistic sports) or cars, etc.
People who don't know me tend to assume I'm straight. It is a little annoying to get labeled like that.