Quote:
|
Originally Posted by analog
Wanting to keep a child as a child for as long as possible is a luxury. There are a lot of places in the world where this is simply not a possibility, let alone the norm.
|
Perhaps you are right. But, I do
not live in a 3rd world country, and I enjoy the luxury of allowing my children to be children for as long as they
are children.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by analog
Today, there are tons of parents for whom the molly-coddling practices last into the early 20's as well, and some parents never outgrow their offspring's "child" phase.
|
I'm not sure how to address this. I mean, I'm 44 years old, but I'm
always going to be my mother's "baby". Molly-coddling. Hmmm...let's see...well, let's look at it this way. Mistakes
have to be made. It's how we learn. While we have to allow our chilren to fall down and scrape their knees, it is a parents instinct to protect thier child. There is a vast spectrum between never allowing the training wheels to come off, and allowing a child to ride his bike off of the roof. The best that we can do is to be there to help pick the child up when they take a particularly nasty tumble.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by analog
This practice is a luxury, but behaving any other way in America, as a parent, is treated as deviant or wrong.
|
Again...I
do have the luxury of not living in a jungle, and will make the best of it. What is deviant, or wrong, is predicated by the needs and values of society as a whole. While it may be perfectly acceptable to follow certain practices in my allegorical jungle, following those same practices in Pleasantville, USA will justifiably land you in prison.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by analog
Letting children know about sex is seen as sacrificing innocence, pushing them towards adulthood "sooner".
|
Don't read so much into it. There is nothing wrong with letting children "know" about sex. They are, in my own opinion, ready to know as soon as they start to ask questions about it. That is not the same as allowing them to
participate. And I do believe that allowing a 9 year old to "watch" is tantamount to participation.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by analog
Well, that's the way it's been working since humans existed. Children grow up- they always will- but attempting to keep them innocent by coddling them and shielding anything and everything that threatens to mature them, is your desire, and not historically natural. It used to be that people were married and starting families by their mid-to-late teens... "growing up" was important, not shunned like something filthy. Keeping kids innocent and child-like until 18 is a new concept for humans, not the norm.
|
I see what you're saying...I really do And, to some degree, I agree wholeheartedly. I see far too many young adults, and...oh, what the hell...even older adults, that were never allowed to mature.
On the other hand. We have the luxury (and that's
not a bad thing) to let children be children when they
should be children.
Look at it this way. I grew up in Pennsylvania coal country. A hundred years ago it would've been very common for a 9 year old to go work in the mines. Somewhere along the line, we saw that that wasn't right. We let them be children. As a result, I didn't have to go work in the mines. I got to play. I got to grow and mature and develop at a healthy pace. Am I making any sense?
Look, I'm not going to take the tired old "You don't have children, so you could never possibly understand." route. That's a cop out, at best. What I
will say is that you (a collective you) have to understand that children are
not miniature adults. They need to grow. And they need to grow at an appropriate pace.