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so this doesn't get lost, your loss of your virginity in that way was 100% on you.
that is different from the fact that two adults made poor decisions that resulted in sex they both or at least one wishes didn't occur.
before meeting you, he had no idea you were a virgin and presumably didn't know until after the fact. it doesn't matter though, you being a virgin doesn't make the act any more or less of a violation...other than to your own personal views of how sacred your first time was going to be.
and that's what I'm responding to mostly, this undercurrent that isn't always explicitly stated that had this been with someone else or had it not been your first time, that it would be less of a conundrum for you.
it's an emotional trigger for many I'm sure, but to be honest, it's no different than any weekend night where women and men hook up in bars and go with each other drunk out of their minds. sometimes puking, sometimes not, but never wholly in their right minds. if that's the new threshold to consider a man a rapist, and more than three people in this thread have voiced that opinion, then so be it but that's a dangerous viewpoint for a variety of reasons.
and that's all that I meant by me agreeing with your friends, that the dude is not a rapist.
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