I appreciate everything you said, Gilda.
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Originally Posted by Gilda
It doesn't, however, mitigate the responsibility of the man who is with her to ensure that the woman he is having sex with has given her informed consent. Simply being drunk isn't enough, but there is a point at which a person is intoxicated to the point of incapacity to consent.
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I agree, and that is what I am trying to get at. In no way am I absolving myself from the fact of having made very poor decisions to get myself into that situation. I don't know how many times I've said it, but I'll keep saying it until it sinks in.
I know what I did wrong, and I have not backed down from that.
The fact is, however, that while I was clearly beyond drunk (vomiting, stumbling, repeating myself over and over, calling this guy by the name of a friend of mine... when the guy had clearly told me that he was not the same person), the guy at no point was as drunk as I was. He was not vomiting, he was not blacked out (he remembered a hell of a lot more details than I did... since I remembered nothing), he got me into a taxi and remembered his own hostel address, he had the forethought to put on a condom several times (so he says), and he remembers that we had "great sex"... and we ended up in the shower, conveniently (especially in terms of evidence). Even if it was not some form of rape, I don't see how he's not at least an asshole for proceeding in the manner he did.