Sultana

I wouldn't say I am confused about Abaya's experience itself, but I think what may be confusing is that you say you accept responsibility, and from what you were told (by this total stranger) you appeared functional "of sound mind", etc. And that you explicitly asked for sex.

However, you know that you were not at all of sound mind. I don't know if that could be legally proven, though.

Now honestly, I don't know of many guys who would say, " Oh yeah, I pretty much pressured you into it, and completely disregarded the indications that you weren't completely yourself..." etc. whether from the fact that they don't want to portray themselves that way, or maybe they didn't even see it that way.

See on one hand I can understand the "she appeared ok, and wanted it, and enjoyed it, then afterwards she regretted it and is crying--" protestations.

However. I have a very difficult time accepting that a vomitous virgin was begging for it and enjoying it, and appeared completely cool with everything the entire time.

Of course his perceptions were alcohol-blurred as well.

In a way, I guess it comes down to: Did he intend to force himself on her regardless? Would he have stopped if she had made the indication for him to?

We'll never know.

However, I'd say this is a persuasive argument that responsible people should take the time to get to know the person with whom they have sex, so they can actually know and be aware if that person is "acting like themselves". That person could be on medications, could be mentally impaired or unstable, could be drunk out of their mind, any number of things that makes the difference from an ill-advised one-night stand or a rape.

I'm very sorry you went through this, abaya.

__________________
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.