abaya

Thanks for the kinder tone, KM. I appreciate it.

No, no, no, and no. I did not make any allusion to me or anyone else "deserving" it. No one deserves to be raped, period. We agree there, particularly on this point... Yep, my only point was that I was responsible for my actions (hence what the OP and this thread are partially about). I did not say that I deserved it, or that the guy wasn't an asshole for doing it. I think the fault still lays most heavily on the guy, but I saw no point in pursuing that legally, for my own reasons.

And I find it interesting that up until now, here on an anonymous internet forum, not a single person IRL called the situation "rape." And I told quite a variety of people about this situation... (very close friends, both conservative and liberal, men and women). Although, it's true that I didn't tell my parents... they might have been the only ones to label it that way. But what parent wouldn't respond in that manner.

Again, I never said it was "okay." That is not my position. My thoughts are that in some situations, the woman is not 100% a victim, and the man is not 100% a perpetrator. Yes, the man can always overwhelm the woman... but when physical force is not involved (e.g., in my case, the dude was a wimp... I could have beat this guy up), it's more an issue of both sides making poor decisions. Then it's very difficult to point the finger entirely at one person.

Responsibility and justice are complicated in some situations, I've found.

I can start to agree with you here, on the idea of consent. Sound mind.

But what happens when the other person is also not of sound mind (the guy was, clearly, drunk as well)? Or if I appeared to be of sound mind (a common occurrence, when one is blacked out)? It's all very gray area, at that point. Hence the complications.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran