smooth

I'm stopping just shy of saying that we need one only because the existence of a mission would funnel our behavior in particular ways--and that may be antithetical to Halx' vision. But you're right in interpreting what I wrote as claiming that the lack of a mission is at least partially responsible for this drift we are noticing. My suspicion is that you and I are on the same page.

Certainly. I'll clarify.
I wouldn't, as a general rule, make the claim that no one has an obligation to point out evidence to substantiate their claims, even in regards to things like feelings...I bet if you reflect on what you've come to "know" about me over the years, ubertuber, you'd agree with that statement.

But in this particular situation we have the dual pronged issue that a) due to past crashes of tfp, much of our collective history has been lost. now, when someone claims they feel a certain way over past behavior, and another person runs a search and only comes up with two instances of the member posting, it falls on the curious to either believe or disbelieve that the hurt member is actually telling the truth and that the reason no evidence is floating around is due to a malfunction of the board.

and b) while I would agree that it's important for people in a relationship to understand how things came to be how they are, for addressing a fixable problem or even for closure, in this particular case, nizzle has already decided not to be in a relationship with the board or its members. he essentially said, hey look, I feel like I was treated in a way that resulted in me not wanting much to do with the board. asking for a response that really only serves for the benefit of a community that he doesn't want any part of anymore isn't likely to elicit anything more from him.

I wasn't stating as a general rule that people shouldn't let others know where they went wrong, but rather if they decide not to do so that shouldn't result in writing off the concern.

I'm sure you're old enough to have experienced, or know someone who has, another person say there just anything more for us. and the response might be, but what did I do wrong? I can change...I'm willing to change...
the response might be, but these are problems I've been feeling for years. even if you changed, there's just too much for me to move past it.
and a legitimate response would be, why did you not bring this to me when it happened instead of letting it pile up to the point of no return?
but at that point, what obligation is the person leaving under to prove the legitimacy of why he or she left? none, is my opinion.
if that person chooses to stay in the relationship (community), then I would respond that hey, we need to address these issues so point out their occurences.

other than that, the person who left is liable to just think to him or herself, oh now you're going to addresss what I felt? or why point out what happened, so you can solidify in your mind that you were justified in how you acted toward me and feel better for my absence?

at this point, nizzle's beef is what it is.
if anyone wants to take it seriously, they'll have to watch themselves and make sure they don't run roughshod over someone else's opinion and make them feel unwelcome. there isn't much chance nizzle is going to come back and help with that process because if he cared he would still be here.

that's really all I was driving at, just because you don't see it and he doesn't point it out, doesn't mean things didn't happen to make him feel the way he does.



all that said, we should also keep in mind whether the so-called evolution of members can contribute to declinging membership. it's quite possible that the internet allows people to think and behave in ways they won't or can't in real life interactions. so much like people "evolved" out of titty board into general discussion or "evolved" from politics into the general community, perhaps a natural thing for the membership to do is to evolve out of the board into real life. and in that respect it can be understood as a net positive (in terms of the notion of growth for individuals as opposed to growth of the community). but if that thesis is correct, what one might expect to find is that the remainder are people less adept at handling social interactions in real life. and you might expect a certain brashness to their online interactions with other people, as well.

my sentiments on that interaction exactly

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"The theory of a free press is that truth will emerge from free discussion, not that it will be presented perfectly and instantly in any one account." -- Walter Lippmann

"You measure democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedom it gives its assimilated conformists." -- Abbie Hoffman