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I promise to make this my last post on this matter, but I just want to make clear that it has never been my wish or intent to try and shut down CA or even stifle whatever it is that's going on there. I have tried to express my feelings about being exceedingly mean and ugly, even if just on the internet. I have taken exception to the idea that because I don't care to interact in this way then I'm not being "real." I think most of my posts have been attempts to clarify either one or both of these themes. Albeit, a few of my posts also expressed regret for some of the things I saw there. But whatever. I am a big girl and fairly well-equipped to deal with disappointment. It's not as if I was very close to any of the players involved. I don't care if CA exists and I don't care who wants to go play there. I just feel strongly enough about the issues the site raises for me to try and do them justice through words and sentences.
And last thing, I was sitting with all of my co-workers at lunch today and realized just how much of my "real" self I hide with them and with many other people I interact with on a day-to-day basis. I could never say probably a third of the things that pop into my head when I am having casual or even work-related conversation with them. It is here, at home, and with my friends and family that I am allowed to truly be myself. I simply have no desire to be anything more or less than I am here everyday. And I'm really happy to have this place to come to and say exactly what's on my mind.
And on that note, I'm gonna go get laid. Ya'll have an extremely real weekend.
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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce
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