Quote:
|
Originally Posted by pan6467
I don't think it is so much "respect" as it is what you have come to expect from a certain person. It is easy to only see what the other wants revealed on the net. (In RL people have tells you can pick up personality "flaws" a lot more easily.)
So when you see a person you always expect to act a certain way, act a different way, and the expectations you had for that person are let down, it is easy to say "I've lost respect for......".
In doing so though, you may hurt the people you named's feelings, causing them to feel you are attacking them and thus they rear back and attack.... then the freefall starts.
And when the dust clears, the only 2 things that become truly certain is .... everyone has a darkside that someone else isn't going to like and that you've ruined friendships over false perceptions and lofty ideals the other could never have achieved.
As my sig on the other sight says (the opening sentences fronm the Great Gatsby) it is very true and they are words to live by.
In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since.
'Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone,' he told me, just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had.'
|
In some ways, I disagree. I think respect can be lost; I don't have to be friends with someone to respect them and their space. And up until the meltdown, I did just that all along, yet was 'told' I hate people...Hell, the only things I hate are asparagus and the smell of coffee. (ok, flame me for that one!!
)
Life's too short to hate on people. But hate is what is coming to the surface and it's spreading like a fire out of control. I find it ridiculously sad.
Yes, everyone has a dark side, some darker than others and some that might surprise one or two. It's a level acceptance of that imperfection that determines the difference between respect because they're another human being and friendship. But once that darkness becomes the norm and dictates the course of action, the respect can and does go way down or disappears.
Allowing the worst of yourself to dictate your behavior, not censuring yourself and crossing boundaries with full knowledge that you are going to destroy another, to me, at least, kills my respect for you (ok, 'you' as in unknown entity, just to be clear!) My bad behavior was the result of that killing of respect and trust. So I censured myself.
At the end of the day, you have to feel good about something you did and know that,even if it didn't make a postive difference in life, at least it didn't do purposeful destruction. Some don't get that, apparently.