Take some responsibility for yourself, girl. You cheated. I would try to figure out how you did something that you "didn't want to do" to "the sweetest man in the world". That's crazy talk. I hope one of those is a lie or you might have to add crazy to the list. 
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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)
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